What hurts isn’t stemmed from one instance, it’s a combination of many.
What hurts is that I’ve been made to feel like I’ve been nothing more than a convenience. I was someone who is constantly there, that can’t say no, that always bends over backwards to make sure her friend is taken care of. All the times you’ve called me or texted me, and all the times I came running. Others comment about it to me. “Why do you do this?” Because I have a heart that I foolishly turned over to someone that didn’t know what to do with it. There was no one, family included, that I have ever trusted more than you. True.
I feel manipulated. You’ve known how I’ve felt, and I feel like you used my feelings to your advantage. What’s worse, in all those times together, you built up a feeling of hope. Simple wishful thinking that you actually cared about me as much as I care about you. Your words and actions at the time said one thing, but now, I don’t know where you stand.
For all the times you’ve said, “You’re amazing!” “I can’t. I don’t want to hurt you.” or the few times you’ve actually said, “I love you.” What was that to you? Just words? That’s what confuses me the most.
But yet, for some fucked up reason, I still care immensely. I still love you as a friend, and regardless of everything you will always be my friend. However, I’m now left questioning anything that’s ever happened. Why did it happen?